Ew, a Giggle (or Cloud 9)

Written within 4 mins on the tube, after a glass of wine, after I saw a text on my phone & made an odd sound

A new flavour of laugh got invented when I met you.
Soft full, tender, falls apart like slow-roasted me off a bone, light like the winter sun on the collarbone, some kind of hope in the chill, no chill, no pride, it trips out like a surprise which is funny in itself because you always make me laugh but I guess,it is still unbelievable to me that you manage to wrench it out of the heavy and the jaded in me, airy, damn-free, liberty-tipsy, delight-footed, it glides across my tongue, shimmies between my teeth and springs out of my mouth like a rose to meet you, a raunchy pilgrimage to its maker; but, there will be no bowing, just dancing, no worship, but a communion, heartskip in your step, come meet me on the floor, which is in fact, cumulus.

Juicy Bits

• I was privileged enough to see new The Colour Purple this weekend at a special screening, and it was just stirring- watching Fantasia as Celie shifted something in me. The entire cast is wonderful, but Fantasia made me lose all sense of time and space and a pressing need to pee (the film is just over two and a half hours, and I needed to pee for maybe an hour and a half). It is really a testament to the performances, that I, a princess with the bladder the size of a pea, was able to hold it for that long. I couldn’t afford to a miss a second of the film, something told me that every morsel was valuable, to be held close. Fantasia’s voice made me screw my face up with emotion, want to wave a handkerchief in the air like I was in a pew, her acting broke me and put me back together again, and somehow, I forgot how badly I needed to go to the bathroom. I know it seems silly to judge a film by how much I am willing to risk a UTI, but please know I have walked out of film premieres because I was dying for a pee. I have begged theatre ushers to let me back into special showings of plays, okay? I have no shame. The original 1985 film was famously snubbed at the ‘86 Oscars, and I need the Academy to do right by this film this time. Everybody was at the top of their game. Taraji is gritty and sultry as Shug, and Danielle Brooks cracks your heart and tickles a laugh out of you as the iconic Sofia. The infusion of love is palpable, you can see Alice Walker’s guiding hand, Oprah’s protection, and the care of all the artists involved. Young Celie, played by Phylicia Pearl Mpasi, is a revelation. The story is of course, difficult, potentially triggering, but suffused with the redemptive love and hope of sisterhood, of the divinity in kindness, and how we can all have a bit of the divine in us. The power in being a Black woman and being in community with other Black women. It’s brutal, and real and so beautiful. It’s out December 25th, please see it if you can, and try not to drink too much during and beforehand.

• I was at Ake Fest this past week, the Nigerian literary festival. What a thing it is, to be at a literary event, look around and see your people, feel at home, see your legacy and the tradition you belong to, be affirmed of your mission, know your community. I had such a wonderful time, a healing time, a necessary time. Most of what I want to say about it is on my instagram.

• I reactivated my Twitter because of the aforementioned- I met so many lovely students and readers, and I find Instagram a clunky tool for connecting. I wanted to at least be present on it for a bit, if not active. However, I did not miss it! In fact during my time off, my idle curious mind was able to discover many fascinating things, including the fact that the rapper Chingy, whose hayday was in the noughties with Southern classic, “Right Thurr” is still fine as hell. Maybe even finer, honestly. Next time I deactivate (likely soon), I hope to learn something equally intellectually invigorating. Like whether Blake Lively and Leighton Meester are friends in real life or if they’re simply “just fine” with each other like past colleagues who shared a desk-space and maybe mugs.

• This clip of Christopher Plummer singing Edelweiss on The Sound Of Music (his singing voice was dubbed over in the film.) The Sound of Music is one of my favourite films, so much part of the fabric of me that sometimes I forget how much it means to me until I see clips like this. It’s a film I inherited from my mother; she adores it, the romance, the music, the story, and I grew up watching it with her. It wasn’t till I was older that I could identify what I loved about it: the gentle romance, the slow burn of it, how it unfurls and blooms. Love and resistance going hand in hand. Rebellion and the freedom to feel, the rejection of oppression. Of course, and then there’s the magnificent Julie Andrews, the reticent twinkliness of Christopher Plummer himself, the joy of watching their chemistry, of seeing Maria thaw the Baron, of the Baron allowing himself to be thawed. Delicious! Butterflies, tingles, buttery warmth. I adore this little clip, and Plummer’s original singing voice. It is everything romance should be. It’s vulnerable, tender, imperfect. His playful little smile and shrug after his serenade, her yearning, naked awe that resists propriety- she’s totally mesmerised. It’s so hot, are you kidding me? Romance lies in the small interactions like this, the small displays of opening up and reaching out.

• It’s Free Palestine till it’s backwards.

• This video below of Tems, singing an acoustic version of Me & U. I’m obsessed with this song (it’s on my Spotify wrapped despite only being released two months ago), but this version took my breath away; it’s delicate, so raw. When she sings, “Make me your matter,” three times at the 1’48 mark, my breath stills. “Make me your matter,” is a uniquely Nigerian thing to say. ‘Matter’, in Nigerian pidgin meaning, ‘business, issue, case, problem’, something of importance. Make me the thing to you, she says, make me your problem, make me yours. It’s not so much yearning, but a demand, there’s power in it. This is bolstered by what she says next: ‘show me your substance,’. Her adoration demands vulnerability back; what are you going to give her back? What a supremely gorgeous love song, a supremely gorgeous Nigerian love song. A wrestle of emotion, a tussle of reaching out and demand, love of self and another. It’s a stush Yoruba girl love song, and maybe thats’s why I like it so much.

• And finally, I want to say thank you again for this space, allowing me to be in this space, and for interacting with this space. It truly is my place to be and breathe, with no pressure, saying whatever. I am truly grateful for you all.

Wishing you a lovely, nourishing week,

B x